What did you just call me?

     Sleep. I have been craving it lately. The past couple of weeks, when I finally do drift off, I feel this sudden jerk wake me up and I start to panic. My mind has been racing, my heart beats furiously and I get a nauseous feeling in my stomach. This isn't anything new. At first I think, if that last piece of pizza is messing with me, but then reality sets in and I know what is really bothering me. It has been bothering me for the past three weeks. It has been on my mind everyday. It refuses to go away. And before you get to think that this post is another "OH GREAT JASON IS SAD AND NOW WE GET TO LISTEN TO HIS SELF-LOATHING RAMBLINGS!!!" 

     But you'd be wrong. Tonight, like the past nights before has kept me awake with feelings of anticipation and excitement. "Am I really doing this???" This question has become the national anthem in Jasonia. "Am I really doing this?" These five little words have been racing through my mind night in, night out. The answer to that question starts three years ago. As I look at that time in my life, I begin to feel that the wheels in motion, started with the turn of a wheel. Back in 2009, I was a photographer for the local television station in Eugene, Oregon. I had life figured out. Work for three years in Eugene, move up to Portland and then eventually get into the world of ESPN. All I needed is a turn of a wheel to make that dream a nightmare. Many people have heard the story. Boy scratches van, boy gets fired, boy gets depressed, boy attempts to find himself in meaningless work and friendships...the end. Or so I thought. It didn't dawn on my until six months ago that the whole time I worked in retail, Insurance (Twice) or the media that I was always avoiding my true passion: Kids. 

     Now before you start in on me with the inappropriate jokes, hear me out. I have always had a certain connection with children. Whether we are talking tutoring teenagers, playing the role of the human jungle gym or making kids laugh, I have always had a special power if you will. So on that September morning in 2009, that turn of the wheel started me on this journey. The one thing about epiphanies is that they are always in front of your face, screaming at you to look. Despite dozens of people saying the same thing, OVER AND OVER AGAIN, the epiphany will not show itself. Not until you are ready. Not until you feel it tapping you on the shoulder. It doesn't beg for your attention. It doesn't boast. It just slightly taps you on the shoulder and asks you casually, "You ready????" That is when you grasp your destiny by the hand and walk side by side with it. For me, that epiphany was that I am destined to become a teacher. The other funny thing about epiphanies is that they only start you on your first step, the rest of the path is explored together. 

     So as I lay awake counting the sheep asking myself  "Are I really doing this?" I silently think, yes. Yes I am.Yes to becoming a teacher. Yes to traveling across the world to find my calling. Yes to being gone away from everything I have ever known to know myself. Yes. As you haven't guessed or seen from my facebook page, I am moving to Korea in August 2013 to teach English. Korea. Hmm. Korea? It's strange that the places, people, food and experiences that I am familiar with will be gone. Along with leaving that all behind, I am leaving myself behind. Leaving my negative view on life, my weight and my bad luck behind. So laying awake and realizing that I am ready for this adventure...all I have for you, dear reader, as you follow my dream is a simple question: "You ready?"

If you are...then follow me as I write this blog before, during and after I see this dream through.